These last 3 weeks have been some of the hardest I've ever experienced. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I was wrong. First of all the majority of people who have this surgery report that they have little to no pain, just discomfort. I on the other hand have not had that pleasant experience. So last week I asked the Dr. why this was. He told me that usually during surgery the nerves in the face are pretty much destroyed, but my surgery went so well that they were able to keep all of my nerves intact. Um, I don't know how I feel about that. And the crap thing about this is that a lot of my face has been numb meaning I can't feel when you touch it, but I can feel all of the pain. Blah! This will all be worth it. This will all be worth it. Another thing that I wasn't prepared for was brushing my teeth. After surgery I was barely able to get a baby toothbrush in my mouth and it wasn't really effective so I used medicated mouth rinse. By two weeks I was able to brush the outsides of my teeth, but not the insides because of the bands holding my jaw together. At my 2 week appointment I begged the surgeon to let me remove the bands and brush the insides of my teeth, because it was so so so sick not being able to. The surgeon gave me the heads up and also told me that I could eat anything I wanted as long as I didn't chew. So of course I was happy. That is until I got home. I took off my bands, made myself some pancakes and bathed them in syrup and was so excited, but I realized at that point that I couldn't open my mouth any wider with the bands off. Not even one fingers worth. So I sat at the table for half hour mushing up my pancakes and adding more syrup and trying to suck them through the small opening between my teeth. The result was that I was burning way more calories trying to eat than I was taking in and pancakes really aren't that filling so I ended up hungrier than when I started. So admitting defeat I went to brush my teeth and was devastated when I discovered that I couldn't even open my jaw wide enough to fit my baby toothbrush in! So I wasn't able to brush inside. A couple of days later I was able to fit the toothbrush in, but only for about 10 seconds because my jaw just gets too tired and then the toothbrush will get stuck. And this is where I am now at 3 weeks post op. I have also discovered that I have absolutely no feeling on the roof of my mouth because I try to brush up there, but can't feel anything. To make my oral hygiene even more disgusting I have something called a splint on my upper teeth. It is made of clear plastic and is wired to the bottom half of my top teeth and I would describe it as a mouth guard/retainer, but it has little indents on the bottom for my bottom teeth to fit into to make sure my bite is correct. And this little darling I was told last week will stay there for 6 weeks. That means I won't be able to brush my top teeth for 6 WEEKS! Ewwwww! This is worse than when I ate those ants! This will all be worth it! This will all be worth it!
So I am getting really sick of my diet. Liquids really suck, but what sucks the most about liquids is that they are not very substantial and I am absolutely exhausted! Before my surgery I asked my surgeon how long I would need help with my kids and he told me one week. Well obviously he is a man and didn't take care of his kids because taking care of your kids when you are feeling good is really hard and tiring, but taking care of them after this has been a nightmare. I have no energy at all. And I have become depressed because I can't take care of my kids. Trent has obviously gone back to work and he's also going to school so I have long days with my sweet wild little girls. And because I have to be as coherent as possible I am no longer able to take my pain meds, because they make me even more tired so it has not been fun. Yes I am complaining a lot and having a pity party, but I find this is really therapeutic, but its time for my pity party to end. And it is time for pictures! Yay!
You wouldn't believe how hard it is to smile when your face is numb!
I just have to put this in. Trent ate this the other night in front of me. A sweet pork salad from Costa Vida, my fav :( I love this man, but he can also be really really cruel sometimes.
So of course you can understand why I was so sad in this picture!
Loving my profile!
My smile is starting to look a tad less scary.
One of my absolute exhausting days I was woken up by vaseline Lily! And I soon discovered that baths and shampoo does not get that out of hair, but lemon essential oil and dish soap does!
20 days post operation
Gratitude:
These last three weeks I have also been so touched by how many people have helped me and my family. First of all Trent has been amazing. He has been mom and dad and yesterday (Sunday) before I had even woken up he had gotten the girls ready for church and packed the diaper bag. And so I slept most of the day while Trent took care of the kids and cleaned. Yep, I love him. I also love the women in my life who include my mom, scottish mum, and my grandmas. They have been amazing with helping with the girls, cleaning, and talking to me because it has not been fun being stuck at home so much. And lastly my friends and ward members who fed my family last week, even though some of the meals were torture because I couldn't eat them, but don't worry I have a list of what I will eat when I can eat again. And finally one last shout out to somebody who I know reads this blog. This particular person and her husband offered to take my girls to church with them a couple weeks ago so Trent could take care of me. My parents were already taking them to church with them that day, but the fact that this couple was willing to take my children to church was so incredible touching. I don't know about all you other parents out there, but surviving Sacrament with two little girls is quite an accomplishment. So Thank You so much. You don't know how much that meant to me.
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